It’s Not Okay: Turning Heartbreak into Happily Never After

Hi everyone! Today Andi Dorfman’s second book came out, and to mark this day I wanted to do a review of her first book. The first book came out in 2016; however I read it this past year. I immediately loved it and could not put it down! For those of you who do not know, Andi Dorman was in season 10 of The Bachelorette. At the end of the show Andi did get engaged, but in the end it did not work out and her engagement ended. Throughout the book Andi talks about her time on The Bachelorette, her engagement, and how she got through everything after her engagement ended. There were so many great parts in this book, but I am only going to focus on a few points!

The first thing I want to mention is the very first page.  It says, “To all the brokenhearteds of the world…One day all the pain will make sense.” While I loved this whole part the part where she writes “…One day all the pain will make sense.” I believe this 100 percent, and it was definitely the case for me when my engagement ended! After my engagement ended I noticed I became more outgoing and willing to take more risks. I also met a really great guy this past year too, and I know if I had been with my ex still that would not have happened.  I would have missed out on a lot of great moments.

The next part I want to talk about is a few pages later when Andi is talking about how this break up will define her for the rest of her life and how the label of being an ex-fiancee is the worst. As I read these few pages I was sobbing! This really hit home with me. I know for me personally knowing that I will always have an ex-fiancee and I can never get that first proposal back.  While I do not regret getting engaged to my ex and having that relationship with him, I do regret not being able to say I was only engaged once. I will never get to spend the rest of my life with the person I thought that I would love and would love me forever, and that is a terrible feeling to have.

The last part I am going to mention is toward the end, and Andi asks, “Why do men always seem to move on faster than woman?”  I have asked this so many times! I will not say how quickly my ex moved on after things ended, but for me it took me two years to finally start to date again! In that time I have only dated one other person while my ex has dated more than one. It does hurt to think that I may have meant so little to him that he was able to date again quickly. One thing I did learn from that moment though was that the time did help me to heal better and I was more open to dating.  I do believe that the guy I dated really helped too. If he were not to have been so wonderful to me I most likely would still be not willing to date.

It’s Not Okay was exactly what I needed to read and I really do recommend it to everyone! I will say that I do not regret getting engaged, but I do regret how I handled it after and do wish I would have moved on with my normal life a little bit quicker. Have any of you read Andi’s book? Let me know in the comments below what you thought!

-A